Light on a Cloud

"Why are you doing this for me? You think I’m an asshole. No, you behave like an asshole...."

Fri, 24 May 2013 11:11:19 +0800

“Why are you doing this for me? You think I’m an asshole. No, you behave like an asshole. There’s a difference.”

- Wild Child

Photo

Fri, 24 May 2013 11:10:24 +0800

Thin fine line

Thu, 23 May 2013 13:03:06 +0800

Damn it. Damn it damn it damn it.

Stop screaming your head off.

It’s a friggin game about a friggin pixelated fox.

Stupid.

Shut up Jack. Not like I can kill them right? You really need to stop talking nonsense.

Suppress suppress. Don’t let her take over Trix.

Fucking suppress. Don’t detach yourself.

Must fucking suppress.

And buy a new mirror. Reminder.

Pieces

Thu, 23 May 2013 10:20:23 +0800

Falls to the ground.
A loud shattering sound.
Broken.

- stupidest poetry ever written in history.

Photo

Thu, 23 May 2013 10:19:01 +0800

Mirrors

Wed, 22 May 2013 23:29:26 +0800

There goes another mirror.

Shards all over the floor.

That burst of insanity.

But it stopped at the neck.

Why does it always stop at the crucial moment?

You two just get on my nerves.

Be more useful will you?

If I fucking hella wanna kill myself, just encourage will you?

It’s either you only appear in mirrors, or you just come into my ears at the most random/darkest of moments.

Just, I don’t even know what to think.

Did I just…I did it again didn’t I?

Again.

Obnoxious.

When you see yourself in the mirror, and you see a devil.

Need to buy a better mirror which would not shatter that easily.

Mirrors.

Need courage.

Wed, 22 May 2013 23:20:05 +0800

Need courage.

jamesandrewcrosby: Typewriter Poetry #292 by James Andrew...

Wed, 22 May 2013 23:17:24 +0800

jamesandrewcrosby:

Typewriter Poetry #292 by James Andrew Crosby

Debts

Tue, 21 May 2013 23:10:05 +0800

Sometimes I wonder, could I have done something so heinous and horrendous, I’m punished in this life?

Crazy things.

“Wild thoughts” - they say.

Debts.

Forever own a debt to the Death Lord.

Hohum.

Feel so lost tonight.

What is there to do, besides that.

jamesandrewcrosby: Typewriter Poetry #288 by James Andrew...

Tue, 21 May 2013 23:07:32 +0800

jamesandrewcrosby:

Typewriter Poetry #288 by James Andrew Crosby

Solitude

Mon, 20 May 2013 17:35:31 +0800

Gasping for breath, slowing down.

Fearing exclusion. All I want.

For time to halt. Even momentarily.

Don’t go. Stay. Please.

Impossible. Figments. Shards.

“We scream, breathe in deep; talk against cross purposes; not knowing ourselves.” - James Andrew Crosby

Every impeded stroke of a reminder. Oobbled streets and dusty fields.

Five months. Should we stay close up till August. It would be my longest friendship in a lifetime.

Inside every storm, throughout every wasted night, I think of him.

He gave me hope and yet selfishly took it away with him.

You gave it to me.

I had nothing to offer you as a friend except my repulsive sorrow.

Yet, you stood by.

Two weeks. This is not the end, I tell myself. Too early a post.

I wish I will have the courage to say these to you on the last day.

I want to tell you face to face, how grateful I am.

For the first time, I do not see an expiry date.

Solitude. In school. But this is not the end.

Something I would like to hold on to.

Thank you for soothing my pain and dismantling my insanity.

You’re not my older sister but you have given me more care and hope than one would have.

You didn’t have to. But you did.

Two weeks more.

To you, a friend. “I will remember every good day, every bad day knowing you will, always fill my hollow words.” - James Andrew Crosby

Photo

Mon, 20 May 2013 17:17:10 +0800

Hello! I just saw the post you did with a lot of my words inside of it. You have no idea how honored I feel. Thank you so much, you made my evening a lot better.

Mon, 20 May 2013 17:11:00 +0800

Hello. Oh my. I am so honored you actually saw the post and even sent me a message. You made my day too! Thank you, I really love your work and really glad I found your tumblr. Your poems, your words, really speak to me and somehow they are exactly what I feel.

Thank you so much, please continue writing.

I need you. Where are you? You’re not alive anymore.

Sun, 19 May 2013 22:44:42 +0800

I need you. Where are you? You’re not alive anymore.

Muffles of silence, repulsive sorrow

Sun, 19 May 2013 22:16:00 +0800

Triggered. Just have a reason for doing all these “silly things”.

Silent night. Muffle in silence.

Talking to my own reflection. Unable to listen.

I am obnoxious. Waste my nights with complaining, never solving anything. Deserving of the lectures.

Will anyone be able to apprehend the rawness of this scarred soul?

Unsure of this verity. Linger in assertions.

Screaming through whispers, begging for subsidy in insignificance, yet intolerant towards overture.

Drown yourself Trix, drown yourself in your own sorrow.

A non-existent value, a bane to society, a burden to everyone.

James Andrew Crosby. Am glad to have found you.

“I spend every day and every night swimming through my sorrow, stuck on a brittle boat with my absent shadow and after all these months, years forgetting habitats, destroying every pattern, it has to be said: I hate myself and you should hate me too.”

Intellectually impaired, physically blinded, mentally scarred. Inability to retain existence and sanity. Begging for my own grave. If the one in the mirror could just kill herself already.

“Anxiety scatters one’s mind into the corner, lets it wither, dusty, filthy; until it, the mind has eaten itself.” - James Andrew Crosby

I’m far too deaf, too blind to find a path inside the brightness, hidden in day light. Too depraved to grasp what blooms inside the darkness of each unaltered shadow; where they howl, run - where disengagement and apathy is extensively dispersed.

Fickle agony.

“All I can offer, is my repulsive sorrow.” - James Andrew Crosby

Continue talking Trix, I’m all ears. Sleepless night. Tortured by my own fucking reflection..insanity much?

Sun, 19 May 2013 21:59:50 +0800

Photo

Sun, 19 May 2013 21:59:36 +0800

Photo

Sun, 19 May 2013 21:59:19 +0800

Allergies

Sun, 19 May 2013 21:41:22 +0800

Oh fuck, am I allergic to wood?

Fuck yes. TT

Stupid, forgot all about it.

Suffered horribly at the hands of wood in Year One for designtech.

Have to wear gloves to friggin do the project. hang in there, it will be worth it.

jamesandrewcrosby: Typewriter Poetry #280 by James Andrew...

Sun, 19 May 2013 20:37:44 +0800

jamesandrewcrosby:

Typewriter Poetry #280 by James Andrew Crosby - Photo by Lobbiaz